Monday, November 18, 2013

They got Paris and left Alpine for me

This is what happens when all your friends are in creative writing...

I went walking around when it was snowing on Sunday. I know everyday should be Sunday, but He only left us one day to rest.
I started thinking. I haven't been thinking since probably last winter. I don't try to think too much because I can feel that it's not healthy for me. It can feel it pulling me down and down and down. But by thin, white strings pinned all over my skin.
I'm not depressed.
(and that's not me in denial or something.)

I don't do much "self-evaluation". I've got some make-shift board of directors doing that for me.
But, that Sunday, I did. And I realized with every frozen step, that I've got a hundred pound weights grabbing me, panicky, by my wrists and telling me to Sit Down, to Calm Down. Just Calm Down, Benji. You're Fine, Benji.
People are cutting me and I didn't even know. And I didn't mind.

So, tonight I sold my sleep to blogger. I traded my dreams for Lions. Because I'll never go to Paris, but I certainly can try and fake my way into it.

Someday they'll make an early morning Creative Writing, by popular demand.

6 comments:

  1. So much symbolism..... I love that.
    Keep it up.

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  2. I worship everything about this...
    Damn you're good.
    Wow. Love this!!
    Mmm...

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  3. "Someday they'll make an early morning Creative Writing, by popular demand."

    Really glad I caught that.

    Also, I hope you find Paris.

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  4. Stilll coming back and reading everything over and over.

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  5. Throwing it back to your intro. I really like this. You're good.

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