Seriously, you've been a huge chunk of the reason I even keep writing.
But, I'm so sorry. I can't say who I am. Because basically... I am a lie.
Yep. This entire blog is basically bull crap, but I meant every word.
This blog was never meant to be about truth, it was supposed to be a writing project for myself and a different side of me. I wanted to see if I could write from a whole different perspective than I'm used to and, honestly, I have loved it.
These words that come from Benji Shell are honest and some of them are straight quotes. They're just not from me.
I lied to Nelson about who I am and I lied to a lot of people at first actually but the truth is is that I am not Benji at all. He's a mixture of two things but mostly Benji is in love with me.
I sound crazy... I'm just incapable of being fully honest with you because we're friends in real life and all of my different selves worship you. I don't want you to hate me when you find out who I am.
"The man who is behind it is one of the most honest men I've had the pleasure of reading about."
And he is. A huge part (the best part) of Benji is one of the most real, most honest people that I believe has ever walked this earth, but I am not him.
I'm so sorry if I've been a huge disappointment to you. I never thought Benji would go anywhere and because of you, I feel like he has.
Thank you so much for everything, Sarah.
I'm not sure that I can continue Benji after this but we'll see.
Thanks again,
Benji Shell
well, first of all i'm speechless.
ReplyDeletei think i get at what your hinting at though, and don't worry i would never hate you if i ever found out. but i am so honored that you've kept writing because of the me (but its probably mostly me just begging you for more content lol). and if all of this is bullshit, then it's the best bullshit i've ever seen. to be honest after reading this, i don't really care who you are. and if we are friends in real life, then it is a true pleasure to be your friend, and hopefully i am as good of a friend to you as i would be to Benji....which is you.... now this is just getting confusing.
well i guess this is where i say thank you for everything and your welcome for anything i did for you. and it is your choice to continue on as Benji or not, but in my opinion i think he has a little bit left in him.
Love always,
Sarah Loveday
P.S. if i ever went off on how much i am in love with "Benji Shell" to you in person, i apologize profusely. it must've been incredibly awkward.
P.S.S. i'm so proud of you for taking a chance and writing to be completely honest and to discover a new part of yourself. i wish you every happiness.